DaddyHood--Why Women Need to Know How Men Look At
Becoming a Daddy
Stop Attracting the Wrong Guy --A How to Guide
How to Tell If He Is Gay
Relationship Articles Index
Should I Marry Him?
June 14, 2009
By Amanda Hillyard, Columnist and Relationship Editor
Ok. So, you're pregnant. You think of how to tell him. And suddenly
several movie scenes cross your mind. You see a woman fretting
about telling her man she's pregnant. He comes homes. She tells
him. To her relief, he scoops her into his arms, a broad smile crossing
his face. Ode to Joy. "Baby, that's the best news I ever got. You've
made me the happiest man on earth!". Cue symphony. Fade. That's
real life, right?
Wrong. The truth is different. So very different. Most men have
very complicated reactions to the idea of becoming a daddy. In fact,
the idea of daddyhood scares most men. To many men, it's a defining
point, an invisible line beyond which their identity changes. Before
baby, they are free, they are independent, they are "a guy". After
baby, they are safe, they are dependable, they are..well...old.
So many women struggle with this. For one of my friends, her
husband lost complete interest in her after she became pregnant
with their second child. And it took a while for him to get excited
about the first. Mind you, he adores their first child but suddenly
he's spending nights out with the boys since she became pregnant
with the second.
You know the story of how penguin males care for their little chicks?
So cute. They cradle the eggs on their widdle waddle feet and walk
it ---walk it!--thousands of miles if they have to, to find food. So
cute, so amazing, so....not reality.
When most men here the news that they are going to be a daddy,
they see two very distinct choices. Choice Number One, run with
the wolves. Run with your pack,boy. Let the wind run through your
mane! Go wild, run free, go boy!
Choice Number Two. Stay home, be a penguin, and walk that egg
across those 1000 mile stretches of arctic ice. Run with the wolves.
Or be a penguin. Wind in your hair, running free? Or snow on your
feet, waddling though cold ice. Run with the wolves or be a penguin?
Ladies, it's not easy. These guys in our world today are not raised to
look forward to being penguins.
Seriously, though, did you know the two most dangerous times in a
woman's life? According to statistics, a woman in the US is most
likely to be killed either within 6 months of telling a man she is
leaving him or within 6 months of telling a man she is pregnant.
Remember Lacy Peterson? According to the Centers for Disease
Control, the second leading cause of death for pregnant women is
This whole idea of becoming a daddy triggers powerful drives in
men. Somewhere, deep down, some of them ---not all of them, mind
you--- think the baby is taking their identity as wolves.
Careful, out there, ladies.
You two are in two different places. Like two people sitting next to
each other waiting on their trains. But you are afraid that he is going
to get on a different train. Could be. But it also could be that he
might get on the same train as you. Wait it out. He may just need to
feel young again before he settles into daddyhood. Careful. Slow.
For your sake and the baby's. Wolves don't become penguins
Now, you're just getting started. Find out more real-life tips for real
relationship issues: How to Tell If He Is Gay/ Relationships
And now that you know. Spread the word on chootoo to your friends.
Do a friend a favor and send her a link to this article.
Register -members get special newsletters with articles like this one.
Index of Relationship
Friends-How to Tell When You
Have a True Friend
Liar Liar How to Tell When
Someone Is Lying
Ten Signs He's Going to Leave
Ten Reasons to Be Glad He's
Why Some Men Prefer
Health. Beauty. Possibility.
Foods to Help You Lose
Home Remedies for Acne
How to Speed Up
Exercises for Thighs, Hips
Quick Start Diets
Are You Fat? -Easy Test
Foods to Boost Your Mood
Foods That Fight Wrinkles
Eat for Healthy Hair
Write for Us
All material of this site is (c) copyrighted, chootoo.com. All rights reserved 2008 -2011, and all prior years.